I fell ass-over-tea kettle…
For wine (in general) some 10 years ago when I became acquainted with a bone fide wine snob. Up to that point, I’d not been much of a wine drinker. But my wine snob friend began introducing me to wondrous and new wines and over time, I came to appreciate the many nuances from one wine to the next. It’s easy to see how the colors and textures can become a gleeful playground for the adventurous palate.
The buzz doesn’t hurt a damned thing, either.
My wine snob friend was well versed in the ornamental language and grandiloquent descriptions used in the world of wine snobbery, complete with its endless intimidating phraseology. It was interesting (if not poetic) to listen as he waxed eloquent about the background of any given vineyard, the tannins, the processes and the grapes themselves, while swirling the divine liquid in his glass before that coveted first sip on a cleansed palate.
I’d sit in awe as he would swish the wine in his mouth, hold it and then gaze off into the middle-distance in deep contemplation. He’d round the ritual out with the flowery description of the wine’s finish like an 18th century French poet.
THEN he’d proceed to get hammered with us schmucks.
I’m pretty sure there’s a wine snob buried somewhere deep inside me, if only I had the energy to lather it up. I completely enjoy the anticipation of a good pour. I love the tickling of the senses, the savor of the big moment and I often enjoy the after taste. No way in heck will I turn down a fine glass of wine stomped by cute little bare-footed peasant girls and I’ll appreciate it for every merit I can find. But in all honesty, if there’s a party on the throw and a karaoke machine in the corner, I don’t much care WHICH wine you pour in my empty glass, I’ll slug that bitch down faster than you can say Fat Bastard Cabernet Sauvignon … And THAT, my friend, is wine SLUT behavior.
It’s that mutt-mix that brings me to the conclusion that I must be a wine SLOB. For those of you who don’t take a big break between cocktail hours, that’s a combination of wine slut and wine snob. I could go with wine snut, but that’s just stoopid and besides, slob is fitting. I’m not willing to do the work to learn the lingo or the finer points of wine, and all I truly want when you get right down to it is that BUZZ. If I want outrageous flavor, I’ll make macaroni and cheese from scratch with Vintage White Cheddar, Chevre and Gruyère cheese. Now THAT is an after taste!
How about it? Are you a SNOB or just a slut like me or just gazing off in the middle distance somewhere?